Skier Types

Can you spot what skier type this is ?

What type of skier are you ?

Forget about Advanced, Intermediate, or Beginner.

According to professional skiologists, there are 8 basic types of skier:

  • Racers want to go straight down the mountain as fast as humanly possible
  • They show up for race leagues, Badger State Games, and award ceremonies
  • They wear helmets, Spyder gear, and medals if they got em
  • They always wax their skis and sharpen their edges
  • Bumpers like to make lots of quick turns
  • They prefer moguls, trees, powder and crud to groomed runs
  • They work harder at checking their speed (whoa !) than on going faster
  • They often wear funny and/or stupid hats
  • Groomers like to follow in the groomer's tracks
  • They wear ski sweaters and fashionable shades, but rarely a hat (maybe a headband)
  • They don't really care if it snows or not, as long as the sun is out
  • You'll never spot one wearing a helmet, unless its got an awesome sound system !
  • Tricksters head straight for the terrain park on their totally rad gangsta twin-tips
  • They like to wear baggy pants, gaudy jackets, and hoodies
  • They spend more time in the air than on the snow
  • Sure, they're stupid, but hey, you were young once too !
  • Patrollers always ski in tight formation
  • They like to practice slow, complicated manueovers, over and over again
  • They wear identical outfits
  • If you get hurt they will come for you, so for godsake, be careful !
  • Free-heelers use special "telly" gear that you can't buy around here
  • They ski funny, and usually act funny, too
  • They like to carve up groomers, slice through deep pow, or whatever, dude
  • Sure, they're gay, but they can kick your sissy-ass butt !
  • Rental-mentals show up at 8am and stand in line for an hour waiting to buy a lift ticket
  • Then they wait in line for another hour waiting to rent equipment
  • Then they spend an hour or two in the chalet getting dressed and making phone calls
  • Then they stand around in the lift line waiting for their friend who got lost
  • Then they take a run or two and start packing up so they can leave early and go home
  • Handwarmers are friendly and gregarious and introduce themselves to strangers
  • They like any kind of ski terrain, but prefer hard, flat surfaces made of oak, marble or brass
  • They are always full of friendly advice
  • If you buy a "handwarmer" for a Handwarmer, they may introduce you to the Decksters !

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